Time to update... somehow since the run-up to Christmas I have found it really hard to write. I think perhaps I don't want to reflect too much on what is happening - just deal with the tricky bits and really appreciate the good times.

Lola had a challenging time last week. The GCSF injections to boost the stem cell production took a little longer than expected to work their magic and everyday became a cycle of temperature-watching, blood-testing and drug-taking. Her count didn't rise as expected and we were on tenter-hooks just hoping that she didn't end up in Ipswich hospital with an infection. Throat ulcers and anaemia meant that she needed a transfusion and 4 hourly shots of morphine and anti-sickness drugs, alongside the other four or five medications she already takes. She staunchly refused food for five days and even water was painful to swallow, so she had a day-time nasal gastric feed and additional fluids as well as the night one to keep up energy levels. Although the snow was beautiful, sometimes at night I felt really anxious that we might need to go in and just might end up stuck (again!!). There were a few close shaves with the thermometer and the dreaded 38C, but through sheer will and determination I'm sure, we managed to stay at home.

Still, you can only watch so much Tracey Beaker! All the Christmas present art activities got started but required just a little too much concentration and energy. Wii tennis was just too energetic and company was thin on the ground when Nancy and Greta went back to school. By Thursday, Lola had had enough and I wasn't far behind her. After her blood checks that morning we had all resigned ourselves to the fact that the stem cell harvest wasn't going to happen that week after all.... 10 minutes after arriving back, Addenbrooks called to say that they wanted her in later that day for a harvest the next morning!! Fantastic news, but hard for Lola to cope with such a sudden change in plan. Anyway, it all happened and, as far as we know, was a success.

Chemo round 5 begins on Tuesday and Lola has been into school this week. It's wonderful to see her with energy and a smile for her friends. She is so warmly welcomed whenever she makes it in and was even enthusing about the reading and spelling tests she had to take yesterday. Nancy and Greta have been able to have friends to play after school this week and life feels a little bit normal. I have reluctantly accepted that I can't make it into work for a little while and have been signed off for four months. It feels all wrong to me that I have to be 'sick' myself, and a bit like failing at something, but I know it's absolutely the right thing at the moment. Handford Hall are brilliant and completely supportive.... I'm just trying to think of it as a sort of 'alternative' maternity leave... I'll be back!!

Just to add to Lola's 'snow adventures', we slid on the ice yesterday and I managed to wrap my car around a 30mph sign 5 minutes from our house! We were all fine. The girls thought it was hilarious and I am just suffering humiliation... once again! Looks like our trip to Gloucester this weekend will be in a courtesy car.... oh well!